


and i'm a little more brave.

by sassiarty



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Dragon Age Reverse Big Bang, F/F, also- brief mentions of homophobia (but mostly pining and fluff I promise)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-18 07:06:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2339543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassiarty/pseuds/sassiarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern Day AU. Bethany knows that Isabela is her older sister's cool friend, but she still can't help herself from staring whenever Isabela enters the room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and i'm a little more brave.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Dragon Age reverse Big Bang, and inspired by fragilespark's gorgeous art, which can be found [here](http://fragilespark.tumblr.com/post/98021455938/my-entry-for-the-dragon-age-reverse-flash-bang).

Marian convinces Bethany to go to The Hanged Man with her, citing a thousand reasons why she should come; up to and including  _I think we both know your other option is spending another night at home with Carver and the dog_. Bethany has to admit that older Hawke has her on that one, and with her sister's gift of a fake ID in hand, she follows Marian to the local bar. To be honest, she’s not really looking forward to it- the Hanged Man is dirty and the people are a little bit intimidating. As if to prove her point, almost as soon as they step inside a fight breaks out. The two events aren't connected of course, but Bethany doesn't pay attention to that, instead staring at the fight with worried eyes.

There's a girl in the middle of the fight, and it's clear that she's winning. Bethany has never actually seen a real fistfight before, not unless it's on TV, and she thinks maybe that's the reason why she's fascinated by the arc of girl's fist, and the flurry of movement that signals each punch.

The fight is over before anyone can do anything. The girl stands victorious, and her opponents slink back into the crowd. The victor laughs, finishes her drink, and turns her gaze towards them. For a second, Bethany thinks that maybe this girl is looking at her, and her stomach drops with something that's unexpected, but somehow enjoyable.

And then the girl shouts Marian's name, and Bethany realizes that she was never looking at her after all. Somehow, Marian already knows everyone in town, even though they only moved here a few weeks ago.

"Marian! I was afraid you wouldn't make it," the girl says, walking over to them.

"Yes, I'm sure you were utterly bored waiting for me, Isabela," Marian says, eyeing the blood on the girl- Isabela's- knuckles. Marian’s always been good at gathering eclectic friends, while Bethany tends to keep to herself. New town, new her though, right? Maybe it would be nice to find a community of some kind. Then again, it’s her last summer before she leaves Kirkwall and goes to school. Maybe now’s not the best time to socialize.

Isabela smirks. "Trust me, they had it coming. Men like that think girls are just a piece of meat. It's about time someone taught them a lesson."

The conversation switches topics and Bethany wanders off to find someone she knows- but not before Isabela's gaze catches Bethany's, and this time, it's for real. Bethany looks down before she realizes what she's doing, her face unexpectedly heated.

~

After that, Bethany is far more open to the idea of spending time with Marian and her friends.

Isabela, as she learns, is one of the more vibrant personalities in the group. She drinks as much as she pleases, says what she wants, and she's always flirting with everyone. Underneath that though, Bethany realizes, there's a softer side. A part of Isabela that is constantly standing up for her friends, and even for random women at the Hanged Man. She's intelligent, amusing, and despite her seemingly constant flippancy, seems to care about the group.

(Not that Bethany's been paying too much attention to the older girl or anything.)

And anyway, the more she spends time with Marian's group, the more they seem to accept her into their midst- Isabela included.

And the more she talks to Isabela, the more Bethany finds herself fascinated by the other girl. It's an embarrassing case of hero worship, but she's not the only one in the group who seems to be affected by it. Another one of Marian’s friends, Merrill, has it even worse. But that's just how things are with Isabela, Bethany decides. She draws everyone in the room to her without even trying.

~

"It's  _hot_ , and I'm bored," Isabela announces, as if that's big news to either of them. It's the middle of the summer, so really it's not all that surprising. Even inside the Hawke household, they can’t escape the heat…although that might be because the air conditioning is broken again.

Bethany looks up from her book, and tries not to focus on the way Isabela's shirt sticks to her skin from sweat. One bead of sweat trails its way down Isabela's neck and chest, disappearing somewhere under the low neckline of Isabela's shirt. It shouldn't be so fascinating, but well...it is. Bethany realizes abruptly that she's staring, and feels her face blush bright red. If she's lucky, Isabela will just write it off as a side effect of the heat, and not anything else. Knowing Isabela though, that's not likely to happen.

"We could go swimming?" Bethany offers. She's always uncertain what she should do with Isabela. The older girl is still technically Marian's friend, not hers. And yet, despite the fact that Marian's been too busy to spend much time at home lately, Isabela still keeps showing up. There's a part of Bethany that thinks -hopes- that Isabela's doing it to spend time with her, but there hasn't been any proof of that yet.

"Don't want to go outside," Isabela sulks, flopping down on the couch. After staring at the ceiling for a moment, Isabela sits bolt upright, meeting Bethany's eyes once more. "Can we draw dicks on Marian's things?"

"That's vulgar!" Bethany protests. And besides, she'll have to deal with the fallout when Marian comes home later if she lets Isabela do that. Not that it'll really stop the other girl in the long run- from what she's heard, Isabela is constantly letting herself into their house and doodling on all of Marian's things. It drives their mother mad. “We’re not doing anything with –with phalluses.”

"Alright, I get it. Dicks aren't your thing," Isabela says, and the calculated way she draws out her words makes it sound like her statement is supposed to mean something profound. Isabela does that a lot though, even if she’s just trying to convince Bethany to read her ‘inspiring’ (by which she means overly sexual and fairly unrealistic) books.

In this case though, Bethany sputters, trying to figure out how she's supposed to respond to that- because Isabela is probably joking true, but the problem is that she's also not wrong. Not completely. Bethany doesn't  _mind_  boys, but she also...well. She likes other things too. There's a lump in her throat now, and memories of hiding indoors, trying to keep this  _thing_  inside of her, this attraction which religion dictates shouldn't be there. There's a part of her that thinks maybe it's the reason why they'd have to move last time, because Bethany was getting bullied at school. She knows that's ridiculous- they moved because her mother has family here. But still. Irrational fears have a way of sticking.

As if catching all that somehow, Isabela's expression softens. There’s a good chance that all of those thoughts just played out on Bethany’s face actually. She’s always been a ‘heart on her sleeve’ kind of girl. "Don't worry sweetness, to each their own. I get it, actually. Men are only good or one thing, you know. Women are good for six."

Bethany heart stutters at  _sweetness_  before she even realizes what else Isabela is saying to her- that Isabela's the same way as she is. When the other girl is done talking, Bethany opens her mouth, and then closes it. She's not sure if she should ask, but curiosity gets the best of her and- "Six? Which six?"

" _Isabela!_ " They both turn, and there's Marian Hawke, leaning against the doorway and looking equal parts stern and amused. "That's my baby sister you're talking to, remember." 

Isabela laughs, dropping the subject automatically, and Bethany is left strangely curious about those six things.

Later on she's tempted to Google it, or steal one of those books that Isabela's always leaving behind, but one look at the blurb on the back has her blushing too hard to think too seriously about it. _Hessarian's Spear_ doesn’t seem like her type of book, even if Isabela keeps trying to lend it out to her, promising that the pictures more than make up for the mediocre writing. Maybe she'll just ask Isabela again about the six things later when her sister's not there to interrupt them.

(That thought leaves Bethany blushing again. It's starting to become a serious problem, apparently.)

~

There’s a difference between wanting to be  _like_  someone, and wanting to be  _with_  them.

Bethany’s always known that, she just had no idea that the line could get so blurry. And truth be told, Bethany’s not completely sure where she stands anymore, not when Isabela is involved. Over the past few weeks, her 'sort of friendship with her big sister's friend' has become a real friendship, and from there it's morphed into something else entirely. Well…on her end, at least. Isabela isn't acting any different, solid proof that for Isabela, this is just another friendship. Sure, she flirts, but Isabela flirts with everyone. It's not that uncommon, and Bethany's sure she's not that special.

Still, at least she's not fumbling with her words as badly as Carver is around Merrill. Things could be much worse, she decides. There are worse problems than daydreaming about Isabela.

~

"’Bela…why do you always call me sweetness?" Bethany asks one day, curiosity getting the better of her. This time around, Bethany’s convinced Isabela to leave the house and get ice cream. It’s both to combat the heat, and to spend more time with the older girl. Neither of them have even mentioned Marian this whole time, and as much as Bethany loves her big sister, she has no intention of bringing her up anytime soon. She wants to have moments that belong to just her and Isabela.

"Sometimes I call you sweet thing," Isabela points out, before taking a lick of her ice cream cone. Bethany tries not to stare, only realizing after a moment that Isabela’s response doesn't answer her question. Isabela finally smiles. "For the same reason Varric calls you Sunshine, I expect."

That  _still_  doesn't answer her question. "I've never understood that one either," Bethany admits, and Isabela looks startled.

"You’ve never guessed? It’s because you remind him of Sunshine obviously. Soft and sweet, and you light up the room." Isabela says it like it's a fact, like it's something everyone should know about Bethany. The thing is though Bethany didn't even know that about herself.

Still, she ducks her head, and smiles. She'd always  _liked_  Varric's nickname, but knowing that Isabela agrees with it somehow makes it more special. “After ice cream we should go see a movie or something,” Bethany hums, trying to change the subject. She knows they’ll end up watching some shitty action movie that Isabela loves. The last one Isabela picked was technically classified as a thriller, but mostly it just seemed like a lot of girls in short skirts killing things. Part of Bethany had secretly wished they were just watching a good old fashioned romance movie instead. The Notebook, for example, is always a classic. Still, even knowing that she’ll probably be shocked and scandalized by the movie, she wants to go- as long as she’s going with Isabela.

~

When Isabela finds out that Bethany’s never been drunk, she seems scandalized. “But you come to The Hanged Man with your sister all the time!” she protests, and Bethany shrugs. She comes for the people, not the drinks. It’s dank and stinks a bit, but she loves hearing Varric’s stories and watching Isabela. She even likes talking to Anders when he makes an appearance, although he’s usually too busy chaining himself to things and writing impassioned blog posts.

“I don’t know. I don’t really like going there. How can you even stand it?” Bethany asks, genuinely curious.

“Drink enough, my dear, and standing is the least of your worries,” Isabela intones. “But your sister’s been holding out on you, poor girl. The Hanged Man may serve swill, but it’s a good time for all. You’re coming there with me tonight. Drinks on me.”

After a moment of hesitation, Bethany nods. She has to admit that being friends with Isabela has made her curious enough about many things, drinking included. And besides, she’s leaving for college soon enough. Maybe she should try a few new things before she goes.

Three hours and five drinks later, Bethany decides that this was _definitely_ a good idea. Isabela seems more amused than anything else, which is probably because Bethany can’t stop giggling at _everything_. At the point where she’s laughing at a particular chatty man’s existential ramblings, Isabela decides it’s time to take her home. Bethany agrees, not thinking about the fact that in her current state, being alone with Isabela is probably a bad idea. And that proves itself to be true when, as they hover in Bethany’s doorstep, Bethany leans into press a kiss against Isabela’s lips.

For one glorious moment, Isabela kisses back, all soft lips and tongue, the cool metal of her piercing pressing against Bethany’s heated skin.          

But it’s only for a moment though, and then Isabela pulls away, looking slightly upset. “I’m sorry, sweetness. I don’t do anything with virgins. They tend to…expect more than I'm going to give afterwards.  Besides,” she reaches out to brush a strand of hair out of Bethany’s face. “You’ve been drinking. What you need right now is to get some rest.”

Later on, when Bethany wakes up the next morning, she can’t help but be mortified. What was she _thinking_?

~

Bethany avoids Isabela after that, telling Marian and the rest of the group that she just has too much work to do between now and the end of the summer. She has roommates to meet and books to buy and clothes to pack. Soon enough the summer will end and she’ll move out- that means she won’t have to worry about Isabela anymore, and one silly, drunken kiss. Isabela doesn’t know how long Bethany _thought_ about something like that before it happened, and Bethany doesn’t want to risk the older girl finding out. That would just make the entire situation worse, wouldn’t it?

Except, as the summer nears an end, Bethany sort of regrets not telling Isabela any of it. Maybe she would actually have a chance if she spilled all her feelings. Or maybe she’d be able to conclusively get over Isabela. After all, maybe all she needs is some closure.

With that in mind, and with the simple desire to see her friend again regardless of what happens, she texts Isabela to invite her out for ice cream. It’s the first time she’s directly instigated contact with the other girl since their kiss, and Bethany can’t help but wait with baited breath by her phone until Isabela responds. She says yes.

After spending a little bit too much time on her outfit, and getting there a little bit too early, Bethany finds herself standing on the beach in a summer dress, eating ice cream with her crush. She’d meant to say something clever about the kiss- something witty and sassy, maybe. She can do that, contrary to popular belief. She just doesn’t do it as often as her older sister does. But when she opens her mouth, what comes out is far from clever, sadly. “Maybe I wouldn’t get too attached.” Isabela shoots her a doubtful glance, and Bethany sighs. “Alright, maybe I would.”  Truth is they haven’t even done anything, and she’s already attached.

Isabela seems to hesitate for a moment before she speaks. “You would. Virgins are cute that way.” Another moment of silence and Isabela sighs. “But anyway, I’m glad you said something. As your luck would have it, I seem to have got myself a bit attached too.” Although she tries to pass it off as casual, there’s something else there. An awkwardness that Bethany isn’t used to hearing in Isabela’s voice. Bethany’s not entirely sure what it means, but it has her heart racing, and when she smiles hopefully at Isabela, the other girl smiles back and reaches out to take her hand.

This time when they kiss, it doesn’t taste like bitter alcohol and hasty decisions. It’s sweet like the ice cream on their tongues.

~

There’s still the fact that Bethany’s moving out soon, and they try to cram an entire relationship into the next few weeks. That means sneaking off whenever possible, acting out scenes from Isabela’s favorite books, and avoiding talking about the future. Bethany’s so sure that it’s obvious something is happening between them, and yet, somehow Varric is only one who seems to give them a knowing look.

Carver's the next one to figure something out though. Not by any particular detective work on his own, but rather because he just happens to walk into the wrong room at the wrong time, and there's Bethany- with Isabela on top of her. 

He immediately spins around and walks out of the room, shouting something about “ _Of course, even_ ** _Bethany's_** _got a girlfriend before me!”_

Bethany and Isabela giggle, even if Bethany knows the subsequent conversation with her family will be awkward. And, true to her predications, it is.

Mostly it just involves Marian staring at Isabela and going: "How long were you soiling my sister?" She seems more incredulous than anything else. Bethany’s not totally sure what the big deal is, but she can see why it would be a bit surprising. She’s still surprised every single time Isabela kisses her, because it just _seems_ like Isabela could have anyone she wanted. Which…well, maybe that just means she wants Bethany.

Isabela shrugs. "Believe it or not, Bethany's the one who started it. Sweet thing knows what she wants."

By the end of the conversation though, Marian gives in. "Fine, you have my blessing. Just...start locking the doors. I think poor Carver is going to have nightmares for weeks."

~

Moving out is bittersweet, until she starts getting a steady stream of texts from Isabela. Although the long distance isn’t easy, there’s always the fact that Bethany will be home for breaks. With plenty of new knowledge, as Isabela is quick to point out- mostly because she likes to make jokes about how Bethany’s nursing degree will just make her even _better_ at ‘playing doctor’.

Bethany saves some of their texts on her phone. She can’t help it. They give her something to smile at during her hardest tests and busiest school periods. Even just thinking about that makes her reach down to unlock her phone, scrolling through to find one her favorite conversations between them. As the professor walks to the front of the classroom to begin the class, Bethany rereads and exchange with Isabela and smiles to herself.

  __ **[text** ] i miss you, sweetness  
 **[text]** I do too :(  
 **[text]** well, you go learn how to save everyone in the world. the rest of us will be waiting.  
 **[text]** fair enough <3

~

Bethany never finds out what six things Isabela meant. Not directly, at least, although she's sure Isabela would tell her the list if she asked nowadays. She doesn't really need it though, because she composes her own list. Six things Isabela is good for: 

1\. Friendship  
2\. Kisses  
3\. Her sense of humor  
4\. Pushing Bethany out of her comfort zone  
5\. Making Bethany feel safe and warm  
6\. Everything else. 

(Alright, number six is probably cheating. But Bethany  _has_  to cheat on that last one, because otherwise, she'd never be able to limit the list to only six things)


End file.
